I've always had trouble identifying who I am. My family is Jamaican, but I'm the only one that was born in Canada. I call myself Jamaican, but I still feel a little weird about it because I don't really know much about the country, nor do I speak the language. I also call myself Canadian, because this is the country I was born in. I've identified with being Canadian a lot more since I've lived in the US for 3 years. People in the States thought being Canadian meant being white, but it's not. Canada is made up of a bunch of different types of people, and I think that's why I identify more with being Canadian.
Another issue is the whole black or white thing. My mom's parents are mixed with black and white, so my mom came out ''looking white", therefore I came out having a lighter skin tone. Certain characteristics are associated with different races, and I don't fit in with the typical black girl, so I have been told, but I can't say I'm white because I'm not. I've also been told I don't act Jamaican. The black race is grouped together so people have this idea what a typical black person looks and acts like. More than once I've been mistaken as someones sister, cousin, and even mistaken for being that same person, when we look absolutely nothing alike. It's really annoying. I'm not seen as an individual. I have to fit into a certain category in the minds of some people, but I don't.
Other than calling myself Canadian, I don't know how else to identify myself.
It must be a daily challenge to be defined by something that you cannot change. Your association with multiple countries could be confusing, but it is nice to hear that in at least one of them you feel like it is a place to call home, a place where you belong. Over the next few years you will get to experience so much more and carve out a spot just for yourself in a place where you feel like you belong, and I know that you will do it with grace and poise.
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